“Sure!”, “Yes!”, “Why
not!”, “Anytime!”
An affirmative attitude might very well
lead you to your short term goal, of being the go-to guy or girl for any of the
solutions to your friend’s or stakeholder’s concerns; and win you that temporary
assurance of being a goody buddy.
But hey! Did you do a
reality check before uttering that easiest word around – “Sure!”?
- Or you just went ahead with the flow of the
moment in order to win over the heart of the seeker?
- Or are you just too casual about your credibility?
- Or is this your sweetly sarcastic and
intentionally easiest way of turning off the seeker in place?
If it’s the first one, well, ideally
you should perform as per what you commit. But do keep in mind “Under-committing and
over-performing is better than over-committing and under-performing”. Doing the latter, that too in repetition, can
in turn land you far from where you had set your eyes in the first place while
uttering the easiest and most friendly word “Sure!” That said, there are times, when your
generosity is put to test. When even after trying hard, you cannot fulfill certain
commitments because of unforeseen circumstances or hurdles. It’s understandable
if it happens once in a while.
If it’s the second one,
you don’t belong here.
If it’s the third one,
then, hat’s off! I am quite a fan of yours, but only and only if you back
yourself up with sufficient guts to stop being fake with the seeker once you’ve
made your intentions clear by your false affirming. If for some fragile part of
your personality, you’re unable to do so, this can put you up in an ugly mess of
embarrassments. Personally, the easiest way to piss me off is to keep me
waiting for the results and never actually coming up even closer to or
discussing them, and neither denying the impossibility of achieving those. Constant
yet soft irritation eats me more than direct denial.
Professional or
personal, this applies to all dimensions around you. Call it whatever you like
- expectation management, the art of saying No, negotiation skills, risk-assessment,
or just being integral to yourself.
Personally, I oh so much
don’t want to come across any such fakers, and mistake them as my friends.
Professionally, I have
always liked working with colleagues who could say me No earlier, rather than
keeping me in waiting mode, and bombarding me with a bullet of not-so-sweet
surprises aka shocks later on. To the best of my knowledge, I too have followed
and worked with this belief system. The results were kind of mixed. Some bosses
I worked with were a bit too turned off by my version of the understanding of the
task at hand and the associated potential issues. These I must
say were the ones who always found themselves in one trap or the other later on,
mostly dealing with projects which had eventually turned from green status to
yellow to red. Thanks to their strength of not being able to deal with the
reality check in first place. Some on the other hand, have appreciated this element
of mine, trademarking it as “good and timely risk-assessment”, and have saved
their asses a red-alert situation.
So! The moral of the
story is -
Speak up when you have to! And say what’s on
your mind. If your mind is too unpleasant to be heard, try some polishing
techniques but ensure that you convey the correct message. Whether or not it gets understood in its correct sense is not in your hands.
This might lead to
a temporary discomfort in the air, but will surely earn you credibility and
respect in the longer run, if the intentions were good and logical.
